Are You Focusing on What You Can’t Do, Rather Than What You Can?
Welcome! It's great to have you back again!I have a funny little story to share with you (that does have a point) … 
Yesterday, my five year old son and I were at another person’s house when he found three balls (he loves balls!).
He came racing in to where I was with all three balls, very excited, and then he said to me, “Mum! Mum! I’ve found juggling balls!”.
“That’s good, mate”, I said (smiling and having a little chuckle to myself as to how excited he was about it).
Then he said, “Mum! Look what I can’t do!” (not a misprint) as he then proceeded to show me how he CAN’T juggle three balls at a time!
What a sight! Talk about funny!
My chuckle turned into a hearty laugh as I struggled not to laugh hysterically! (given that we were at someone else’s house plus I have a fairly embarrassing laugh when I get wound up!).
After my son had shown me what he couldn’t do, he then showed me what he could do.
He could “juggle” two balls at a time (throwing one up, swapping hands with the other, then catching the one falling down in the free hand), and he could “juggle” one ball (which was merely throwing the ball up with one hand and catching it with the other). He has excellent hand/eye coordination by the way
I could see how proud he was of himself for being able to do both of those things, and it got me thinking about how often we tend to focus on the things that we can’t do well (which often leads to feeling down about ourselves and then the procrastination cycle usually begins!), and in doing so, we tend to forget to focus on the things that we can do well (and often take for granted!).
The more positive experiences we have, the better we feel. Of course, there will always be negative experiences to be had by all (that’s life), but if you can keep things in a balanced perspective and focus more on the positive events rather than the negative ones, it will help you to deal with negative events when they come your way.
I’m not suggesting for one moment though that anyone “turn a blind eye” to the negative experiences they have. That doesn’t help anyone! What I am saying is: the more positive events you experience (and this often includes your perspective of the situation which is obviously going to be affected by previous experiences), the better you feel about yourself, and the better equipped you’ll be to deal with negative experiences as they arise.
Did this post get you thinking about where your focus is?
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~ Message from Kylie ~
The More the Merrier …
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Hi Kylie,
such a great point.
I think a lot of us do this,
we would do better if we did focus on the things we can do,
children can always teach us something.
Thanks, Jean.
It’s often easier said than done to focus on what we can do, but like anything, the more you practice doing something, the better you get at it – including being positive and “glass half full”
I get a great deal of inspiration for my writing from my children. They are funny, entertaining and I love how they see things!
~ Kylie ~
Leave it to the little ones to remind of how to keep our eye on the proverbial ball by focusing on the truly important things! Such a great story! While he was aware of what he couldn’t do, and hoped to be able to, he was far more thrilled by what he COULD do! That kids gonna go far in life!
Hi Kimberly
Thanks for the comment – I’m glad you enjoyed my post
It still makes me laugh remembering that day.
My son is hilarious (without trying to be) and I just love the things he comes out with! I’ve kept a record of all the funny things that all three kids have said and done since they were really little. At the time you think you’ll always remember, but over time it’s easy to forget. My book keeps all those memories for me so that I don’t have to worry about losing them.
And yes, my son WILL go far in life
. I have no doubt about that. He’s interested in everything, loves learning, is particularly observant and has the most amazing memory that I’ve ever come across in a child. He literally remembers everything! (which isn’t always a good thing! lol).
He starts school tomorrow, actually, and is busting to learn everything! I’m rapt that he’s excited, but sad for me that I’m not going to have my littlest buddy at home with me anymore!
One of the things that he’s looking forward to doing at school, is using the computers. When I asked him why that was, he said, “Because you don’t let me use yours, Mum!”. lol – true, in fact!
So much comes from what we put into words Kylie and your son has shown this perfectly without even knowing! I am careful how i explain something to our son, like instead of saying dont drop the glass of juice when you walk over there… i will say hold onto that glass. This removes the negative. So much to learn and kids always teach us the most
Hi Matt
Thanks for the comment
Kids are so literal, aren’t they? How old is your son? Mine is 5 years old.
I totally agree about removing the negative from an instruction/comment, although, it’s often easier said than done! I do my best to phrase things in a positive way though.
And yes, kids have an amazing knack of teaching us things by just being kids
Their perspective is usually so different to ours, isn’t it?
Kylie, It’s true that children see things in such a pure light. We need to be more like them, I think. Your story made me laugh. How old is your son?
Love,
Dar
Hi Darlene
Thanks – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
My son is 5 years old. He is starting school tomorrow and is very excited about it. I’m pleased that he’s excited and looking forward to it, but I’m sad for me
It’ll be weird not having any kids at home with me during the day!
He’s the youngest of the three kids. My eldest daughter is in Grade 5 this year and the middle one is in Grade 2.
I’ll get used to it over time
Thanks for the reminder Kylie. I really try to keep a positive mind set, which is generally not so difficult. The real test is when you’re in a bad situation, I try to challenge myself to turn my mood around. From my experience I found is that if you can stay positive more often then you have more positive events occurring in your life which is much more fun.
Sally, you’re spot on regarding the more positive you are, the more positive events that occur and the more you have.
Staying positive is something that doesn’t always come easily, however, like anything, the more you practice, the better you get at it
Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the conversation
Hey Kylie,
What an adorable story! I love how your posts always have a mix of fun and a huge amount of personality.
It’s a great reminder to bringing awareness back to where our focus is.
I spent most of my life thinking that the ‘right’ thing to do in order to grow was to focus on my weaknesses, or the things I couldn’t do.
I’ve since done a complete turn around on that thought process. Mostly due to reading a lot of Eben Pagan’s material. It actually makes so much sense that people thrive when they start to focus on improving what they are already good at.
It’s hard to be passionate about what you’re not good at but easy to get excited about what you are.
Michaelé
Michaelé Harrington´s last blog ..How To Create A Raving Tribe Of Cheerleaders Begging To Syndicate YOUR Content
Thanks Michaele – I’m pleased you like my writing style (it’s how I talk, too!)
I totally agree with you at how being excited about what you’re doing makes the task all the more enjoyable and easier to do.
I think that it boils down to building self esteem and confidence in someone. Anyone who feels confident in what they are doing is already ahead those who are less certain, purely because they have a better mindset about it. And the more success someone has, the more their confidence increases, the more likely they are to try new things, and on it goes.
~ Kylie ~