I have a funny little story to share with you (that does have a point) … 
Yesterday, my five year old son and I were at another person’s house when he found three balls (he loves balls!).
He came racing in to where I was with all three balls, very excited, and then he said to me, “Mum! Mum! I’ve found juggling balls!”.
“That’s good, mate”, I said (smiling and having a little chuckle to myself as to how excited he was about it).
Then he said, “Mum! Look what I can’t do!” (not a misprint) as he then proceeded to show me how he CAN’T juggle three balls at a time!
What a sight! Talk about funny!
My chuckle turned into a hearty laugh as I struggled not to laugh hysterically! (given that we were at someone else’s house plus I have a fairly embarrassing laugh when I get wound up!).
After my son had shown me what he couldn’t do, he then showed me what he could do.
He could “juggle” two balls at a time (throwing one up, swapping hands with the other, then catching the one falling down in the free hand), and he could “juggle” one ball (which was merely throwing the ball up with one hand and catching it with the other). He has excellent hand/eye coordination by the way
I could see how proud he was of himself for being able to do both of those things, and it got me thinking about how often we tend to focus on the things that we can’t do well (which often leads to feeling down about ourselves and then the procrastination cycle usually begins!), and in doing so, we tend to forget to focus on the things that we can do well (and often take for granted!).
The more positive experiences we have, the better we feel. Of course, there will always be negative experiences to be had by all (that’s life), but if you can keep things in a balanced perspective and focus more on the positive events rather than the negative ones, it will help you to deal with negative events when they come your way.
I’m not suggesting for one moment though that anyone “turn a blind eye” to the negative experiences they have. That doesn’t help anyone! What I am saying is: the more positive events you experience (and this often includes your perspective of the situation which is obviously going to be affected by previous experiences), the better you feel about yourself, and the better equipped you’ll be to deal with negative experiences as they arise.
Did this post get you thinking about where your focus is?
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Kylie,
such a great point.
I think a lot of us do this,
we would do better if we did focus on the things we can do,
children can always teach us something.
Thanks, Jean.
It’s often easier said than done to focus on what we can do, but like anything, the more you practice doing something, the better you get at it – including being positive and “glass half full”
I get a great deal of inspiration for my writing from my children. They are funny, entertaining and I love how they see things!
~ Kylie ~
Leave it to the little ones to remind of how to keep our eye on the proverbial ball by focusing on the truly important things! Such a great story! While he was aware of what he couldn’t do, and hoped to be able to, he was far more thrilled by what he COULD do! That kids gonna go far in life!
Hi Kimberly
Thanks for the comment – I’m glad you enjoyed my post
It still makes me laugh remembering that day.
My son is hilarious (without trying to be) and I just love the things he comes out with! I’ve kept a record of all the funny things that all three kids have said and done since they were really little. At the time you think you’ll always remember, but over time it’s easy to forget. My book keeps all those memories for me so that I don’t have to worry about losing them.
And yes, my son WILL go far in life
. I have no doubt about that. He’s interested in everything, loves learning, is particularly observant and has the most amazing memory that I’ve ever come across in a child. He literally remembers everything! (which isn’t always a good thing! lol).
He starts school tomorrow, actually, and is busting to learn everything! I’m rapt that he’s excited, but sad for me that I’m not going to have my littlest buddy at home with me anymore!
One of the things that he’s looking forward to doing at school, is using the computers. When I asked him why that was, he said, “Because you don’t let me use yours, Mum!”. lol – true, in fact!
So much comes from what we put into words Kylie and your son has shown this perfectly without even knowing! I am careful how i explain something to our son, like instead of saying dont drop the glass of juice when you walk over there… i will say hold onto that glass. This removes the negative. So much to learn and kids always teach us the most
Hi Matt
Thanks for the comment
Kids are so literal, aren’t they? How old is your son? Mine is 5 years old.
I totally agree about removing the negative from an instruction/comment, although, it’s often easier said than done! I do my best to phrase things in a positive way though.
And yes, kids have an amazing knack of teaching us things by just being kids
Their perspective is usually so different to ours, isn’t it?
Kylie, It’s true that children see things in such a pure light. We need to be more like them, I think. Your story made me laugh. How old is your son?
Love,
Dar
Hi Darlene
Thanks – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
My son is 5 years old. He is starting school tomorrow and is very excited about it. I’m pleased that he’s excited and looking forward to it, but I’m sad for me
It’ll be weird not having any kids at home with me during the day!
He’s the youngest of the three kids. My eldest daughter is in Grade 5 this year and the middle one is in Grade 2.
I’ll get used to it over time
Thanks for the reminder Kylie. I really try to keep a positive mind set, which is generally not so difficult. The real test is when you’re in a bad situation, I try to challenge myself to turn my mood around. From my experience I found is that if you can stay positive more often then you have more positive events occurring in your life which is much more fun.
Sally, you’re spot on regarding the more positive you are, the more positive events that occur and the more you have.
Staying positive is something that doesn’t always come easily, however, like anything, the more you practice, the better you get at it
Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the conversation
Hey Kylie,
What an adorable story! I love how your posts always have a mix of fun and a huge amount of personality.
It’s a great reminder to bringing awareness back to where our focus is.
I spent most of my life thinking that the ‘right’ thing to do in order to grow was to focus on my weaknesses, or the things I couldn’t do.
I’ve since done a complete turn around on that thought process. Mostly due to reading a lot of Eben Pagan’s material. It actually makes so much sense that people thrive when they start to focus on improving what they are already good at.
It’s hard to be passionate about what you’re not good at but easy to get excited about what you are.
Michaelé
.-= Michaelé Harrington´s last blog ..How To Create A Raving Tribe Of Cheerleaders Begging To Syndicate YOUR Content =-.
Thanks Michaele – I’m pleased you like my writing style (it’s how I talk, too!)
I totally agree with you at how being excited about what you’re doing makes the task all the more enjoyable and easier to do.
I think that it boils down to building self esteem and confidence in someone. Anyone who feels confident in what they are doing is already ahead those who are less certain, purely because they have a better mindset about it. And the more success someone has, the more their confidence increases, the more likely they are to try new things, and on it goes.
~ Kylie ~
We learn so much from watching our children! I thank you for paying attention and sharing! We’ve skyped so much I can hear your Australian accent when I read your posts! I love it!
.-= Linda G Cox´s last blog ..List Building: The Key to Internet Marketing Success =-.
Ah, flip the thoughts around to positive. Such an empowering lesson to be learned from a very bright young gentleman. That’s how we should learn to perceive things. If one way doesn’t work – try another!
Great lesson shared Kylie,
Val
Thanks, Val!
I still chuckle when I think about this story, and while I’m obviously a tad biased, my son IS a very bright little man.
I just love the way children view life. Us adults can learn a great deal from them!
My grandfather used to say that there is always a way to fix something and if there isn’t a way, then create one! (and my beloved Gongy – yes, that’s what I called him! – could fix pretty much anything!).
Thanks for commenting!
~ Kylie ~
Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little study on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So allow me rephrase that: Many thanks for lunch!
Kylie dear,
I just adored this story! and such a wonderful lesson embedded in it.
I had a horrible habit of focusing on what I couldn’t do, but once I realized that it wasn’t doing me any good at all and in fact was making the whole situation worse, I started to focus on what I Could do.
Aaah what a difference!
And while I might not have always phrased my parenting instructions in quite the most positive way ~ I agree with you, easier said than done! ~ I’ve managed to raise two very positive and powerful young people who still manage to provide me with life lessons on a daily basis.
And even though the house might seem weirdly quiet once your little man goes to school, think of all the work you’ll get done!
Thanks, Jacqui
It’s funny, isn’t it? I still laugh when I tell people about it!
I’m sure most people can relate to focusing too much on what they can’t do, rather than what they can.
Congratulations on raising such wonderful kids who you’re understandably very proud of.
My son is at school this year and while it took me a very long time to adjust to it (longer than it did with the girls), but at the same time, I’m amazed at just how much more I’ve been able to get done! As of today, the kids only have 7 more days of school left for this year and I’m amazed at how quickly yet another year is speeding by!
Thank you for leaving a comment, Jacqui. I appreciate it!
~ Kylie ~
I strongly agree! that “The more positive experiences we have, the better we feel”. Because if we only close our mind to negatives, we won’t be able to live life normally. Yes! that’s life that we all had encountered negative experiences. In fact, we had developed our self-determination from learning negative experiences.
This is really good! This is the second blog that i have read and i really appreciate it!
Hi Hera (I presume – I apologise if this isn’t correct!)
I’m pleased you enjoyed my post. You make a very good point about developing self-determination from negative experiences! Well said!
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
~ Kylie ~
Hi Kylie, How fortunate your son is to have you as his mother! I love your positive attitude as I am a big believer in it myself.
We aren’t allowed to say “can’t” in our house. My three girls know that “can’t” is a four letter word that is forbidden. Every time they say the word, I tell them they are wrong and I can prove it. I thought someday they would prove me wrong, but they haven’t yet. They have stopped using the word, which is great.
I look forward to reading your future posts on how your positive attitude has helped your son to believe in himself!
Thank you, Carolyn.
Proving that your girls can do something is a wonderful idea! Do you mind if I borrow that idea?
My son is a wonderfully positive little boy. He’s very funny and entertains us with his thought provoking observations. I love that he’s still at such a fun age.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment and I hope you continue to enjoy my writing.
~ Kylie ~
PS: I’ve bookmarked your blog.
Hi Kylie, I’m glad you found my comment helpful. Of course you can use my idea – I’m a big fan of a positive attitude! Thank you for bookmarking my blog. There is a post from earlier this month you might find particularly interesting, called The Best App Ever! about an app that uses positive reinforcement to teach kids to help out around the house: http://www.wonderoftech.com/2011/02/the-best-app-ever/
Hope it helps!
Thanks, Carolyn.
I’ve just read your post and agree that the iReward Chart is a great idea, however, I have one small problem with it … I don’t have an iPhone! (yet) lol
Perhaps if I’m a good girl, Santa might bring me one this coming Christmas!
~ Kylie ~
So the iPhone then becomes your own iReward!
iLike that idea!
There are a lot of things I know I couldn’t do myself. But that doesn’t stop me. It motivates me to even do it and practice it. So that’s how I get to do them
It gives me satisfaction when people say I couldn’t do it and I prove them wrong.